Sam’s Best and Worst Films of 2023

Best Films:

1. Infinity Pool – I watched this movie late at night by myself it blew me away. No other movie this year has as good or as original a premise and boy does it not waste it. It is here to fuck with your brain until it’s over. This is an acid trip movie that you don’t need the acid for. And if you take some anyway and watch it that way then god help you. Skarsgard is great and Mia Goth is even better. Months later and I’m still thinking about it more than any other film this year. Go in blind and enjoy.
2. RRR – This movie is a high five in cinematic form. It’s a ‘Dudes Rock’ explosion of good vibes and ass kicking. This didn’t even come out this year but it has to be on this list. And I didn’t see it until this year and it’s my list so deal with it. It’s not a musical but has the best song performance of this year and deserved the Oscar it got in that category. I had heard how good it was but between the 3 hour runtime and the subbed/dubbed aspect, I dragged my feet when it came to finally watching it. Don’t make the same mistake I did. Within half an hour of watching this with my girlfriend, we were both glued to the screen for the rest of its runtime. If there’s a movie on this list that will give you a big, goofy smile and pumping your fists every set piece, this is that movie. Watch it before it leaves Netflix.
3. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse – This was the best time I had at the movies this year. The jokes land, the overlapping animation styles are incredible, the soundtrack pulses and the energy in the theater was phenomenal. A sequel that works in almost every way to it’s also-great predecessor. Also, the criticism for its cliffhanger finale is a bit weird to me. Cliffhangers can be super effective if earned and I’d say after a very fast 140 minutes, this one really was for me.
4. The Holdovers – They don’t make movies like this anymore. I know that’s a really pretentious and film douche thing to say but it really feels like these types of films have slowly started to vanish. No world ending stakes, no shitty cross promotion or miscastings, just complex characters talking and clashing over the course of a film that you grow to love. I’ll take 5 of these a year for the rest of my life if they’ll make them. Also a new good Christmas movie! That doesn’t happen often! I’m tired of watching the same 3-5 Christmas movies every year. I can quote Home Alone backwards by now.
5. No One Will Save You – This movie kinda came outta nowhere and hit me right in my Sci-Fi/Horror nerd sweet spot. There is almost zero dialogue in this film. Everything is conveyed through the actors’ expressions and the film’s excellent sound design and shot staging. It has my favorite ending of the year, one I know some others have hated. That’s a good thing.
6. No Hard Feelings – Another type of movie they don’t make much of anymore. It feels like the romantic comedy peaked in the 90s and 2000s and the genre has has dropped off the face of the fucking Earth these days. I enjoyed the hell out of this one. I’ve liked Jennifer Lawrence but never loved her until this film. Her comedic chops are super well suited for this type of movie and her chemistry with Andrew Barth Feldman is what it all work. It’s raunchy, it’s sweet but most importantly it’s actually funny. Thank god.
7. Puss in Boots: The Last Wish – No one’s more surprised than me that a fucking Puss in Boots movie is on this list but hey here we are. I had heard it was great but I wasn’t ready for a movie that just rips from start to finish. The character arcs all work, it’s well written and looks great, and you can tell this thing was actually made with love and intention which is not something I was expecting. It’s also got the best villian of the year and that always gets you points. Seriously why are there so many lame villains these days?
8. Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 – This movie does not have a lame villian. He’s a fucking asshole who tortures animals and commites genocide, which is great. Endgame felt like the last time anything in the MCU actually mattered. If that movie was the MCU’s ending then this movie is the fun epilogue to a group of side characters we know and love. James Gunn really knows what he’s doing and while it does seem like the era of superhero film dominance is (finally, mercifully) coming to an end, if anyone could help revitalize it it’s him now that he’s running DC.
9. John Wick: Chapter 4 – I don’t really know what to say here. Keanu Reeves murders the living shit out of people for 3 hours. That’s it, that’s the tagline. We all know that. But hey Donnie Yen is here and hey so is Clancy Brown and hey so is Bill Skarsgard! So ya know, that’s fun. It’s the best John Wick movie since the first one, which still reigns supreme for me. If this is it for the John Wick franchise, it picked a helluva film to go out on.
10. The Killer – No one is surprised that Michael Fassbender turns out to be a great fit for David Fincher and Andrew Kevin Walker’s pitch black film about a morose and self serious assassin who despite his list of rules and disciplines, just cannot stop fucking things up. I need to watch it again and I hope Fincher moves on from Netflix so I can see his films on the big screen again but if they’re going to keep giving him blank checks to make movies, it’s a compromise I’m willing to accept.

Honorable Mention:

Evil Dead Rise – It almost came down to this and Talk to Me for the final spot on the best list. Both are great horror films. Talk to Me is a stellar, creepy film and actually has an original premise, not something to take for granted in what’s become the most profitable and oversatured genre these days. But if you asked me which film I would rewatch first, I think I have to go with this one. Evil Dead in an apartment building. It shouldn’t work but it does. It’s gnarly, it’s raw, bad things happen to the human body in this movie. That’s not everyone’s thing but if humans vs demons is your thing, you can do a lot worse.

The Creator – Gareth Edward’s films go as far as the attached screenplay takes him. He’s a fantastic visual director, one of the best working today. He understands and uses scale in a way few directors do. He can show an epic image or establishing shot and just let it speak for itself in a way Roland Emmerich or Michael Bay never could or rather, never would. But back to his movies. Godzilla 2014 works because it’s all about building up to Godzilla. We don’t see him fighting onscreen until the final act. And from the Halo jump into San Francisco to the atomic breath finish, it’s a pretty good third act. Some people want more Godzilla in their Godzilla film which is totally fair but for me it works. Then there’s Rogue One, some people’s favorite Disney Star Wars film. Can you name 3 characters introduced in this movie? No, you can’t. No one can. It has some great images and it builds to an epic third act but it’s all about a suicide mission for the rag tag main group. And frankly I could give a shit if any of them live or die. It’s fine if you cream your pants when Darth Vader shows up in the last 5 minutes but it’s the epitome of fan service and a good movie it is not. Lastly, The Creator. Broken record but once again it looks fantastic. Edwards is really gifted at films that look grimy, well worn and lived in. That pairs wonderfully with Sci Fi. I’ve always preferred the dirty, breaking down futuristic worlds of Blade Runner to the sterile Apple Store future of the Star Wars prequels. It works like gangbusters here. The Nomad and seeing it onscreen is worth watching for alone. But again, the script has problems and they’re pretty cliched. The wife gets fridged. There’s a super child who’s the key to everything that must be protected. Our main character slowly realizes he might not be on the right side. It’s a plot stapled together from other, better plots. It’s not gonna win any awards for writing. But it’s a fun watch and I’ve spent more time writing about this one than anything else on this list. I love a good,flawed film and maybe it’ll grow on me with more time and rewatches. For now, it lands here.

Extraction 2 – Extraction 2 is a pretty good action film. However, 2023 was a pretty great year for films so it didn’t make the top 10 list. That being said, there is a 12 minute single shot sequence in this movie that rules so hard I have to recommend it on principle alone. You’ll know it when it’s happening.

Poor Things – I saw this movie hungover as shit on Christmas Eve with my Dad. It was my idea. It was my most conflicting watch of the year. Pro: The set design and world is absolutely incredible, I haven’t seen anything like it. Con: It’s too long. Pro: The best Mark Ruffalo role and performance I’ve ever seen, I didn’t know he could play an asshole this well. Con: After seeing Emma Stone get fucked for the 53rd time, it started to get kind of stale. Pro: An original film from an original voice that feels like a completely uncompromised vision. Con: It’s still too fucking long. Overall at times I loved it and at times I hated it. And goddamn it I’ll take that every time over the middle of the road shit we get most of the rest of the time.

Barbenheimer – Saw the Barbenheimer double feature opening day with Oppenheimer in the morning and Barbie in the evening. I liked both films a lot. But that’s about it. I don’t really have anything interesting to say about them beyond, “I thought they were good.” I will say though that seeing the box office returns for those films blow the roof off everyone’s expectations was a great sign for the return of films after Covid and you could feel that in those packed and sold out shows. I can only hope that studios take the right message from this in that audiences want new and original films from creative and talented filmmakers. And then seeing them greenlight a series of toy films right afterwards means they absolutely fucking missed the point completely. Of course.

Bad Movie Honorable Mention:

Plane – Gerard Butler does Gerard Butler things and has to save the day against all odds. Super watchable dad movie.

The Pope’s Exorcist – Russell Crowe does an Italian accent and that’s worth the price of admission alone. I did not have Russell Crowe on my short list to have a late period reinvention as both an intentionally and unintenionally funny actor but here we are and I dig it.

M3GAN – Maybe the most predictable movie of the year but it’s an entertaining 100 minutes and after sitting through several movies twice that length this year, I’m good with that.

WORST MOVIE OF THE YEAR:

Meg 2: The Trench – The first Meg movie is the epitome of a film that belongs on the Bad Movie Honorable Mention List. It’s breezy, has Jason Statham playing his favorite role of Jason Statham and a giant shark eats people. I’m in for that premise 99 times out of 100. This is the 1 percent. The jokes are terrible, the setpieces are dumb as shit, the characters saying words and doing things makes me want to throw my phone through my TV. I love bad movies but this is a terrible movie and I hope you never have to see it.